Find Happiness 54: How to Stop Brooding

broodingIf you have decided to walk the road to happiness, you might have an addiction that hinders you from reaching the goal. That addiction is… brooding.

When I say brooding I’m talking about obsessing on how lousy some event or thing is for an extended period of time.

Like any addiction, if encouraged,  it can ultimately ruin you. If you gradually cure yourself of it, your life will take a huge turn for the better.

The hazard about brooding is that it can grow on you, by which I mean you can end up spending increasing amounts of time sitting and obsessing. Again, like a classical addiction, it can lead to a point where it prevents you from performing routine daily activities like eating, sleeping or working. If it gets this bad, doctors are likely to declare you have clinical depression.

So how do you get out of the brooding habit?

  1. Catch yourself brooding
  2. Have at least four alternate trains of thought that you can jump onto. Here are some examples:
    • Think of the various things you have to do during the rest of the day and plan them
    • Think of an upcoming professional or family event and of how you can make a useful contribution to it
    • Think of a way in which you can help someone you care about
    • Think about the best place to go for a walk
    • Think about simple ways in which you can improve the inside of your home
  3. Jump onto one of them and dwell on it for about a minute
  4. Soon after that engage yourself in a task. This could even be related to one of the trains of thought mentioned earlier
  5. Practice is key! The important thing is to continually hammer your brooding habit with this method until you get out of it altogether.

Like all the methods I have described on this website, this is one I have employed myself (albeit many moons ago) with resounding success. It took a little while, but proved a powerful, rapid solution.

If you’re into brooding, Try it out NOW, rid yourself of the ruinous habit and make your life more fun!

To your guaranteed success,


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Find Happiness Step 2:

Step 2 will work for you only if you believe you can succeed in finding happiness. To decide whether to believe or not, go through the process described in Step 1 (described in this earlier post).

Permanent happiness must depend on something that is itself permanent, and that is your core being or “true identity”. Nothing else is permanent (you will realize this after you get to know your core being, trust me). To understand this in more detail, go to this earlier post.

So the task at hand is to locate your true identity. That’s easy! Just follow the one-minute method I prescribed in this post.

The deeper you delve into your true identity, the more peaceful you’ll become. Delving deeper necessitates continual drilling down into it. About 10 minutes a day of this drilling is what I recommend (based on my first-hand experience).

find-true-identity The 10 minutes a day I mentioned should be spent using the “Eyes Shut” method mentioned above. That method is like a nuclear-powered drilling platform for probing the depths of your being. Let me get specific about how to use it:

You’re sitting in a quiet, undisturbed place trying to identify with the “viewer of the blackness” that you see when you close your eyes. Firstly, if possible, do this without “voicing” the question, “Who’s aware of the black?” in your mind. Try and do it without the voicing. If you can’t, no problem, just carry on.

Unless you’re way advanced, there will be a stream of other thoughts flowing through your mind while you perform the above exercise. Thoughts like, “This is not working”, “What if someone knocks on the door now”,”How could my partner have insulted me that way this morning”, “Is 10 minutes over yet?” and so on. The thing is to ask yourself, “To whom did that thought occur?” soon after the thought happened.

 Usually many thoughts will occur in sequence and you should try and answer “To whom did that thought occur?”  for the last one. Don’t bother about the ones that whizzed by earlier that you didn’t “catch”.

You have to relentlessly and continuously apply this technique for the 10 minutes.


An Important Bulletin on LETTING GO

When you ask the question, “To whom did that thought occur?”, to find the answer, you have to necessarily STEP BACK in your mind because the being that’s aware of your thoughts is almost physically “a step back” in your head (this is something you will have to experience to understand, like that good old “taste of a banana”). An aid to understanding will this diagram from an earlier post:

 But you can’t “step back” unless you “let go” of the thought you are working on. And sometimes this can be very difficult to do, because you’ll be afraid that if you stop dwelling on that thought, something catastrophic might happen in your head or in the outside world. Take it from me (who has been there, done that): you can let go of the thought without fear, nothing will go wrong.

Over the course of time you will find that you will let go. This will afford you an opportunity to dwell on the witness of the blackness and your thoughts, which is none other than your true identity, aka the core of your being. You will realize that it’s safe to dwell, or, more appropriately, reside in your core being without paying attention to any thoughts that may be knocking on your mental door. Very soon, you won’t even pay attention to the knocking.

The upshot is that:

  1. You have located your peaceful core being
  2. You have learned how to reside in that being at will
  3. Since you have learned, in effect, to ignore your mind when you please, you will no longer be tyrannized by it. The mind will become your slave,with you the peaceful master. You will never be anxious, depressed or stressed again because anxiety, depression and stress are part of the mind, not part of you, the mind’s witness.

All you have to do is try these things to become unshakably happy. There will be questions along the way. Feel free to ask them in the comments, or sign up for the “Closer Guidance” list in the right margin of this page.

To your peace and happiness,

Want to put your finger right on your inner peace?
Submit your first name and email address, I'll send you full instructions in four installments for free.
I will not reveal your details to anyone.