Find Happiness 66: Afraid Your Thoughts Will Come True?


You’re angry with someone and a mildly malicious thought about them crosses your mind. Shortly afterwards, great misfortune befalls them.

You are wracked with guilt, thinking that the harm that befell them is because of your malicious thought. Because of that guilt you can neither sleep at night nor concentrate during the day. You are totally messed up.

Has this happened to you?

Well I have good news: the fact is that the guilt, pain and worry are totally uncalled for. That is because, no matter what you have come to believe, you do not have the power to make things happen to other people by an act of will. That only happens in tales of fantasy (nowadays so prevalent in the media), and it behoves you to drop such a belief ASAP!!

If you are nevertheless unable to shake the belief, it is simple to scientifically prove you cannot make things happen purely by thinking.

One of the criteria for scientific proof is that the cause-effect relationship in question should occur at all times. Think of the times you have wished for other things to happen, for example:

  • You wished your meal provider would serve up a particular dish
  • You wished someone would call or visit
  • You wished there would be a vacant seat for you on a bus or train
  • You wished it would rain
  • You wished someone would be healthy
  • etc, etc, etc.

Did your wish always come true? I am quite sure not. If it occasionally did, you can say it was a coincidence and nothing more, since what you are seeing is a random outcome, and random outcomes are natural, they occur whether you have pre-willed them or down and

Want more proof? Sit down and strongly will for something to happen (I’m not talking about something happening in the future, ala “The Secret”, the “Law of Attraction”, etc, but something to happen within the next day. And it should be something that is not strongly likely to happen anyway (like there being clouds in the sky the next morning).

Did it happen? Probably not. If it did, try it three more times. Did it work all three times? I’ll bet not, so you do not have supernatural mental powers. If it did, then I need to meet and interview you!

Closing Advice

Learn how to step back from guilt, anxiety, stress, depression and the mind in general so that those conditions do not matter to you. The first step is to know where to step back to; that takes a desire to explore and repeated introspection.

I can tell you from experience that the “step-back-place” is in everyone; it is a state of perfect, unshakable calm that anyone can locate with the repeated introspection mentioned above. So do some research online for a good teacher. Take action and get peaceful NOW.

Good luck!


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Find Happiness 61: Don’t Depend on Others’ Courtesy


Do these sound familiar?:

  • “He didn’t ask how my cold  was. He’s brazenly insensitive and I’m really upset.”
  • “She didn’t ask after my mother. She’s so selfish, I’m really upset.”
  • “He didn’t ask about my new job. He doesn’t give a damn about me, I’m really upset.”
  • “She didn’t come to meet me at the airport. She has no manners, I’m really upset.”
  • “He didn’t condole my uncle’s death. He’s absolutely callous, I’m really upset.”
  • “She never even asked about our new baby. She has no social graces, I’m really upset.”
  • “He never thanked me for all I’ve done for  him. He’s an ungrateful wretch, I’m really upset.”

Now think about this: if it didn’t matter to you whether

  1. people thanked you or
  2. people made inquiries of you,

… wouldn’t you have much less cause for agitation ?

Your reactions to those things are really from learned behaviour… learned from your parents, other family, peers or the media. You were not born with those reactions. Nothing will go wrong if you lose them!

  • Try not reacting in the above circumstances and see if you like where it gets you.
  • Start today.
  • The next time somebody does not thank you or make polite inquiries, do not say anything.
  • Inhale slowly to the count of ten.
  • Then pay attention to some other matter, one that is not disturbing.
  • Repeat the above procedure whenever your mind goes back to the initial reaction.


Try it out for two weeks. If you like the difference it makes, make it a habit. You’ll be delighted at how much more enjoyable your life is!





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Find Happiness Step 2:

Step 2 will work for you only if you believe you can succeed in finding happiness. To decide whether to believe or not, go through the process described in Step 1 (described in this earlier post).

Permanent happiness must depend on something that is itself permanent, and that is your core being or “true identity”. Nothing else is permanent (you will realize this after you get to know your core being, trust me). To understand this in more detail, go to this earlier post.

So the task at hand is to locate your true identity. That’s easy! Just follow the one-minute method I prescribed in this post.

The deeper you delve into your true identity, the more peaceful you’ll become. Delving deeper necessitates continual drilling down into it. About 10 minutes a day of this drilling is what I recommend (based on my first-hand experience).

find-true-identity The 10 minutes a day I mentioned should be spent using the “Eyes Shut” method mentioned above. That method is like a nuclear-powered drilling platform for probing the depths of your being. Let me get specific about how to use it:

You’re sitting in a quiet, undisturbed place trying to identify with the “viewer of the blackness” that you see when you close your eyes. Firstly, if possible, do this without “voicing” the question, “Who’s aware of the black?” in your mind. Try and do it without the voicing. If you can’t, no problem, just carry on.

Unless you’re way advanced, there will be a stream of other thoughts flowing through your mind while you perform the above exercise. Thoughts like, “This is not working”, “What if someone knocks on the door now”,”How could my partner have insulted me that way this morning”, “Is 10 minutes over yet?” and so on. The thing is to ask yourself, “To whom did that thought occur?” soon after the thought happened.

 Usually many thoughts will occur in sequence and you should try and answer “To whom did that thought occur?”  for the last one. Don’t bother about the ones that whizzed by earlier that you didn’t “catch”.

You have to relentlessly and continuously apply this technique for the 10 minutes.


An Important Bulletin on LETTING GO

When you ask the question, “To whom did that thought occur?”, to find the answer, you have to necessarily STEP BACK in your mind because the being that’s aware of your thoughts is almost physically “a step back” in your head (this is something you will have to experience to understand, like that good old “taste of a banana”). An aid to understanding will this diagram from an earlier post:

 But you can’t “step back” unless you “let go” of the thought you are working on. And sometimes this can be very difficult to do, because you’ll be afraid that if you stop dwelling on that thought, something catastrophic might happen in your head or in the outside world. Take it from me (who has been there, done that): you can let go of the thought without fear, nothing will go wrong.

Over the course of time you will find that you will let go. This will afford you an opportunity to dwell on the witness of the blackness and your thoughts, which is none other than your true identity, aka the core of your being. You will realize that it’s safe to dwell, or, more appropriately, reside in your core being without paying attention to any thoughts that may be knocking on your mental door. Very soon, you won’t even pay attention to the knocking.

The upshot is that:

  1. You have located your peaceful core being
  2. You have learned how to reside in that being at will
  3. Since you have learned, in effect, to ignore your mind when you please, you will no longer be tyrannized by it. The mind will become your slave,with you the peaceful master. You will never be anxious, depressed or stressed again because anxiety, depression and stress are part of the mind, not part of you, the mind’s witness.

All you have to do is try these things to become unshakably happy. There will be questions along the way. Feel free to ask them in the comments, or sign up for the “Closer Guidance” list in the right margin of this page.

To your peace and happiness,

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