No, I am not talking about thoughts related to seducing someone. My definition of a seductive thought is a thought that suggests doing something that you:

• Like a lot
• Can do without difficulty in your present circumstances

Let me give you some examples of seductive thoughts from my own life.

I am a web techie and love learning about the latest Internet technologies and tinkering with websites. I am constantly hit by thoughts such as:

“I want to do a Google search for that subject now.”

“I want to study that User Manual now.”

“I want to try out that web application now.”

All of the above are actions that I find enjoyable, exciting and deeply satisfying. Other not so pleasant examples, not drawn from me, are:

“I want to snort some cocaine now.”

“I need to smoke a cigarette now.”

The Problem with Seductive Thoughts

The problem is that most people cannot resist them, and this causes undesirable side-effects.

If you keep yielding to them, they can make your life develop unevenly: you succeed in one sphere, but fail in the others (for instance, there are many well-known examples of people who are professionally brilliant but abject failures in their family lives).

What you need to do is break the hold these thoughts have on you, so that you can make an educated decision on whether to accept their suggestions or not.

Be alert, be your mind’s boss and more power to you!

Your friend,

Most life coaches, spiritual guides and religious teachers advocate forgiveness as one of the important characteristics one should adopt for self-improvement.

Why?

Consider a situation where you do not forgive someone: someone has just cheated you, someone whom you had always trusted, someone whom you thought always had your welfare at heart. Ouch!

In the extreme case, you would decide to get even with the person.

This could entail the following actions and consequences:

On the other hand, if you forgave the person:

I adopted forgiveness as a guiding principle some time back and am very pleased with the effect it has had on me and those around me.

Test it out for yourself and see how it makes your life better!

To your growing peace and happiness,

We all want to be happy and peaceful at heart.

More easily said than done!

Fact is, inner peace, which equates to unshakeable happiness, is already within each of us. But where is it?

Here’s the situation. It’s as if you are wearing virtual reality goggles.  In the goggles you see your body and environment (as you normally see them, from the viewpoint of your eyes) and you perceive messages like:

“I feel like crap.”
“I’m sooooo happy!”
“How can he talk to me like that?”
“I really love him to bits.”
“How will I manage now that John is dead?”
“I’m hungry!”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
“It’s getting late!”

In those goggles you also hear sounds (whatever comes on through your actual ears) and are aware of touches and smells.

Everything you think and all your sensory inputs are thus taking place in the goggles. But here’s the thing: over time,  you have become totally engrossed and absorbed in the show.

So if everything is going on in the goggles, then what is going in you, the person wearing the goggles?

Nothing! You are a pure observer. You are absolutely still. You are aware of everything going on in the goggles, and whenever necessary you command your body to act. But essentially you are a still,  steady witness.

The advantage of this is that you are perfectly peaceful. How could you not be, since if there is any stress, anxiety or despair, it’s happening in the goggles, not in you!

Please think carefully about what I have just said. Read it many times if you need to.

If you want experience the state of being a pure observer,  take the free course by signing up either below or on the index page, or go to http://calmandcool.com/4-part-course .

Take action NOW to become happy. Stick at it and you SHALL succeed, because perfect peace is your NATURAL STATE!

To your success in locating your inner peace and residing in it,

Throughout this website I have emphasized that we each have a state of unshakeable inner peace already in us, and that if you are trying to become  peaceful, you should locate it and operate from it as a base.

The fact is that we started off in that happy state, but over time got distracted away from it.

To clarify: we were effectively in that state soon after we were born. Let me tell you more about that:

Prior to our birth, our minds had virtually no information about anything.

Since we had no information about anything, we could not analyze or opine regarding anything.

In other words, we were naturally thought-free.

That situation continued through to the moment of our birth.

After that, our minds started recording sensory impressions, identifying patterns in them and perhaps anticipating them, i.e. rudimentary thinking started.

Going back to the moment of our birth…

We existed and were conscious without thoughts in our minds!

Please think about that statement carefully and understand it.

Let’s go a step further. I will call the state just described the "basic you." Thoughts came later as explained above, superimposed on the basic you, and it is the basic you that was aware of them… and has been so to this day! !

Yes, the basic you is still there in your head, aware of all your thoughts and sensory inputs, just like a member of an audience watching a play.

And what do I mean by “a member if the audience watching a play”?

If an actor in the play screams out to the audience, "Go and drink a glass of gasoline," does the member of the audience have to do it? No. The member has a choice to do it or not do it.

If the actor screams out,  "I am so sad," does the member of the audience feel sad? No! Because those are just words that the actor is uttering. You hear them, but that’s about it. You certainly don’t become sad because he says he’s sad.

By the same token, the basic you is aware of all  the thoughts occurring on front of it, but is not affected by them.

So if you operate from the basic you as a base, you can go about your life doing all the things you need to do without being personally battered.

And how do you do this? First, put your finger on the basic you by taking my free course. Then, gradually start "disowning" each of your thoughts and emotions. Read these selected articles I wrote to know how:

http://calmandcool.com/216/find-happiness-9.htm

http://calmandcool.com/204/stillness.htm

http://calmandcool.com/803/be-yourself.htm

http://calmandcool.com/748/mind-out-of-control.htm

http://calmandcool.com/478/find-happiness-experiment.htm

http://calmandcool.com/446/leash.htm

http://calmandcool.com/412/good-thoughts-bad-thoughts-baloney.htm

http://calmandcool.com/405/personas.htm

Keep at it every day and you shall succeed as I have (I used the exact same methods I describe on this website).

More power to your quest for happiness, and may your success be rapid!

Warmly,

There are millions of people who are resigned to being unhappy. They feel that unhappiness is an inescapable component of the human condition, that it cannot be avoided and that it is their destiny. What a pity… I wish I could help them.

The fact is that if you are unhappy, you can become happy if you persistently work at it. You have to relentlessly persevere. This means not giving up.

For you to put in this kind of sustained effort, there are some prerequisites:

1. You should be intolerant of unhappiness. For that to happen, you have to stop believing that life is inevitably unhappy. You were not born without unhappy thoughts in your head… your mind was like a slate with nothing written on it, and that slate is there, with sad writings on it. But here’s the good news: you are the slate, and are not affected by what’s written on you (read other articles on this website if you do not understand)
2. You should believe that you can fix your situation, and that all it needs is continuing work. Many people, including myself,  have done the distance and stand as proof
3. You should decide to give your ‘happiness project’ very high priority. It’s not something you pay attention to once a week or once a month. You should resolve to work on it EVERY DAY, DAY AFTER DAY. It should have a very high priority,  bordering on obsession.

If you are unhappy, anxious, depressed or stressed, please give the above prescription a really hard think. But don’t stop there. Move to the next, more important step: TAKING ACTION.

Happiness is your birthright, and if you move towards it, you SHALL succeed because you are trying to be natural.

If you have decided to walk the road to happiness, you might have an addiction that hinders you from reaching the goal. That addiction is… brooding.

When I say brooding I’m talking about obsessing on how lousy some event or thing is for an extended period of time.

Like any addiction, if encouraged,  it can ultimately ruin you. If you gradually cure yourself of it, your life will take a huge turn for the better.

The hazard about brooding is that it can grow on you, by which I mean you can end up spending increasing amounts of time sitting and obsessing. Again, like a classical addiction, it can lead to a point where it prevents you from performing routine daily activities like eating, sleeping or working. If it gets this bad, doctors are likely to declare you have clinical depression.

So how do you get out of the brooding habit?

1. Catch yourself brooding
2. Have at least four alternate trains of thought that you can jump onto. Here are some examples:
   • Think of the various things you have to do during the rest of the day and plan them
   • Think of an upcoming professional or family event and of how you can make a useful contribution to it
   • Think of a way in which you can help someone you care about
   • Think about the best place to go for a walk
   • Think about simple ways in which you can improve the inside of your home
3. Jump onto one of them and dwell on it for about a minute
4. Soon after that engage yourself in a task. This could even be related to one of the trains of thought mentioned earlier
5. Practice is key! The important thing is to continually hammer your brooding habit with this method until you get out of it altogether.

Like all the methods I have described on this website, this is one I have employed myself (albeit many moons ago) with resounding success. It took a little while, but proved a powerful, rapid solution.

If you’re into brooding, Try it out NOW, rid yourself of the ruinous habit and make your life more fun!

To your guaranteed success,

Everyone wants to be happy, even though it often seems that some people are determined to be unhappy at all costs.

It is not difficult to be constantly happy. Achieving this boils down to your beliefs and your mental habits.

Here are four major guidelines for being happy. Think about them and pursue them.

1

Know that it is definitely possible for you to become happy,  just like everyone, without exception, can definitely become clean after a bath.

Your happiness is covered with “mind-dirt” that can be “washed off” by refining the way you perceive things.

2

One thing that happiness depends upon is your wants.

The more things you want badly, the more unhappy you will be, since you may not easily be able to get what you want. For instance, suppose you want to have a long-term intimate relationship with someone, only that person is not interested.

If you were really stuck on your want, you would be frustrated and maybe depressed. If  on the other hand you were not very stuck on your want, you would just let the want go and quickly move on “unscathed.”

The motto: there is nothing wrong with wanting something as long as you can let go of the want with ease. If you get what you wanted, good for you. If you didn’t, it shouldn’t matter. There is much wisdom in the pop saying, “You win some, you lose some.”

3

Separate yourself from your thought process.

What do I mean by this?

Clearly someone in that head of yours is aware of your thoughts. That someone is the real you, which throughout this website I refer to as the “basic you.” The “basic you” is always there, aware of your thoughts. It doesn’t matter what you are thinking, it’s still always there, still just observing your thoughts. Its nature does not change. In other words, it is unaffected by your thoughts. And remember, the “It” I’m talking about is the “basic you.” It’s YOU!

To  learn more about the “basic” you, take the free course I offer here and read as many of the other articles on this website as convenient.

Once you have realized you are the “basic you”, stay rooted there. In other words, remain an observer of your thoughts. IMPORTANT: This  by no means implies you become inactive. Your mind will continue to decide to do things, only instead of believing that thoughts are “your voice”, you will be calmly standing aside and watching them, and taking action according to the decision just like you did earlier.

4

Practice makes perfect.

Spend 10 minutes a day sitting quietly, asserting your identity as a pure observer of your mind (aka your thoughts). During the rest of the day, if you feel disturbed, start watching your thoughts (in other words, be your true self, the “basic you”) during those times. With practice, you will be the “basic you” all the time, ever calm, yet dealing with the world at the same time.

To your steady progress into unshakeable happiness,

There is a safe, unassailable place beyond your mind.

This is a place where thoughts    cannot touch you. It is a place of peace, strength and security, from where you can watch the play of thoughts and give directions to your body to perform actions.

It is a place where you cannot be persecuted, victimized or forced by your mind to do things you don’t want to do. It is similar to a fortress on a high mountain, while thoughts are similar to activity on the plains below. There is no way events on the plains can affect the fortress.

Your aim should naturally be to always reside in that fortress.

That sounds great, but the question is… how?

First of all, you have to know where it  is.

Let me point you in its direction by describing the fortress and describing the means to get there. After that, you have to ‘travel’ there on your own (no one can do the journey for you, it would be like asking someone to eat for you).

Once you have thus found the fortress, spend 10 minutes a day going back to it. Over time, you will realize that the fortress has been your true abode all along, and you will knowingly run your life from there.

Perseverance is the key. We are talking about changing the way you perceive things, and that is usually only possible using continual effort. If your goal was physical, say to lose weight, wouldn’t that take time? This project is of the same ilk.

Be sure of one thing: if you constantly try to find and live in the fortress, it will happen, just like it happened to me.

Why waste time? I’ve shown you the way to happiness. GET MOVING!

To your profound inner peace,

Worry and anxiety are like swarms of crabs.

They hook on tight with their claws and keep biting you to distraction. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if instead of feeding on you they stayed on the ground and left you alone ? 

In other words, wouldn’t it be nice if you could be aware of your worry and anxiety without being affected by them?

Here’s the good news: you can make that happen!

How to Make It Happen

• The key is for you is to watch your worry and anxiety from the position of a still, motionless observer. And not only the worry and anxiety (henceforth termed "w & a")…  watch also your mind’s various commentaries and suggestions related to the w & a, and even, if possible, your mind’s final decision as to the further  course of action.
• This procedure is analogous to removing the crabs from all over you and putting them on the ground. Note that you are not being asked to kill them, just separate them from you.
• Now the crabs can do what they want without you getting bitten. And you will be watching them going about their business.

It is important to understand that watching your thoughts as an observer does not imply that you never do anything or never move. As I mentioned earlier, when your mind decides you should do something, you should go ahead and do it!

Proof of the Pudding

How do I know this will free you from w & a, you may ask. I know because I have done it myself for a long time and thus made myself a very peaceful person. I continue to do it to make the peace I feel progressively deeper.

When Will You See Results?

As in most projects involving the mind, it will probably take some time for you to see results. But I can tell you from my own experience that if you try without giving up, you SHALL succeed!

So start pulling those crabs of you now and stop w & a from bothering you! 

To your growing inner peace,