If you see a biker riding a chopper and wearing a bandanna tearing down the highway in front of you, will it strike you that he and his bike are just elements of the total Universe, like stars or planets? Probably not. The reason for this is that when you see him and the chopper, they do not look like stars or planets and you are not reminded of the total Universe. You’re far more likely to be reminded that he is a member of a certain well-known biker gang.
Instead of thinking that he is a member of a certain gang, why don’t you try thinking that he is a part of the Universe, as is his chopper, as is the road, as are the surroundings, and as are you. After all, it’s the truth… or is our biker outside the Universe?
Making this attitude a habit will result in your life being more peaceful. But it is important that the attitude is coupled with another attitude: you have to do what you have to do.
Let me explain. Supposing a neighbor is yelling and hurling insults at you. Before you fly off the handle and get angry and lose control, try to remind yourself he is an element of the Universe, and he’s doing what he’s supposed to do (which in this case is getting angry). Remind yourself that you too are part of the Universe and have to do what you are supposed to do. Once you have this chilled-out, sanitized view of the situation, you will find that you can deal with it without stress and anger because the sting has been taken out of the event.
To get back to the example, if somewhere embedded in his angry tirade he makes a reasonable statement or asks a rational question, then respond logically and rationally. Of course if he’s just spouting a nonstop stream of mindless insults, you have to tell them that it’s best if you resume the discussion later when he’s not so upset.
The advantage of behaving this way is that:
- You do not stress your nervous system with angry adrenalin
- You do not say anything insulting or irrational, which can cause a later problem with said neighbor
- Your neighbor will most probably realize that compared to you he behaved very immaturely. He is likely to have increased respect for you and be polite when he resumes the discussion.
Pausing for a second during moments of fear, stress or anger to think about the “Big Picture” removes the agitation from the situation and enables you to proceed with clarity of mind. It does take practice, but if you make it an objective, it gradually becomes a habit. Try it out: if I can do it, so can you!
To your peaceful life,
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hi,you said that in the big picture/the universe the angry neighbour is doing what he is supposed to be doing,why is he supposed to get angry?Equally if I panic in a situation,why am I supposed to panic?
Diane
Good question. He gets angry because his mind is doing it’s thing and he’s overwhelmed by his mind. You panic for the same reason. If you learn to always be in the peace beyond your mind, you will not panic. If your neighbor similarly learned to always reside in the peace beyond his mind, he wouldn’t get angry.
But this intellectual interchange will in itself not improve your situation. You need to take action to change things, and what needs changing is your concept of who you are. You’ve taken the right step: I see you have signed up for the free course available on this website. If you follow it patiently and sincerely, it will definitely make an obvious difference.