Find Happiness 65: Dealing with Difficult People


Almost everyone has encountered another person who has been very abrasive . It is very disconcerting and unpleasant having to interact with such an individual. Here is a strategy to deal with this situation.


The first thing to consider doing is always to forget the incident and forgive the person: This way, in the immediate ‘aftermath’, you need not obsess over what happened and can get on with your day.

Also, it prevents your relationship with the person from taking a hit; as a matter of fact, I have even observed that very often the person may stop being abrasive on seeing that it has little or no effect on you (this of course does not always happen).

You need to give this method a hard try for five or six ‘encounters’ with the person to gauge its effect. A “hard try” is totally forgiving and forgetting; make sure pride or your ego do not obstruct you from doing this. If the other person does not change, then move to Step Two…


What to consider doing if the person continues being abrasive: In this case, for your own peace of mind,  it is better to maintain a polite distance from the person. The magnitude of that distance depends on how difficult the other person is and about how important it is for you to have a relationship with that person.

Some methods for maintaining distance are:

Interact less frequently with the person, perhaps only when necessary, for instance  to communicate only by phone, or for even less participation, by text message.

Maintaining distance if you live under the same roof may prove to be very uncomfortable, in which case, I am sorry to say, the best solution may be to live apart as a last resort.

I wish you success in dealing with your difficult person. Feel free to leave a comment if you would like to discuss the subject.

Your friend,






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